Fear and Failure

Be fearless, for you have everything and nothing to lose.

Hello, world. What are you scared of? What are the things that make you cower into your corner of normalcy? What are the things that make you shrink yourself and lower your voice?

For many people, fear is a default. Fear is a burden that we oftentimes believe to be mandatory, but is not. Sure, being mindful of unstable situations is good, but this can be achieved without fear. To understand it better, let's look at what fear is at its core: fear is worrying about what could be. So, fear is inherently a state of attributing negative emotions to what hasn't even happened yet. Fear is anticipatory.

So, if you ever find yourself worrying about, for example, a job interview, that would mean that your brain is mostly focused on the possible negative outcomes instead of just trusting that it will go well (since you have probably been spending a significant amount of time preparing for the interview). Worrying about this particular job interview would also mean that you probably perceive the outcome of failure to be a negative thing. This is a whole other problem on its own:

Failure has such a bad rep. Its connotation is terrible and has come to be understood as an off-putting thing that everyone wants to desperately avoid.

WE HAVE BEEN FOOLED, WORLD! "Failure" is nothing to worry about. When we "fail," we should interpret it as a signal to try again. Failure tells you what you need to tweak in order to better whatever situation it is. If we try to avoid failure, we will miss many great opportunities, simply because we are fearful of the unknown. So, avoiding failure= avoiding potential growth. Unimaginable growth that we will never comprehend unless we try.

Why have we been conditioned to find shame in failure? Well, that shame seems to be rooted in mistrusting oneself, attaching value to what others think of you, and thinking that your abilities are fixed and unable to be changed. Insecurity, uncertainty...you get it. Failure should not come with self-criticism and self-doubt. External forces should not determine your internal worth. Only you can decide what you are capable of, so why in the world would someone else's judgement of you matter?

When we "fail," we should practice a mindset of clarity–– take a deep breath and see things for what they are, without the shade of guilt, shame, or regret. Say you DID bomb that job interview––instead of beating yourself up and retracting yourself from future opportunities in fear, think about this situation in simple, logical terms: "It's okay that my job interview didn't go the way that I wanted it to go. I trust myself enough to know that I did my best. I can't wait to keep on going after my goal!"

That would be an ideal way to deal with failure. All that matters is that YOU know your worth. Once you have this down, you will navigate failure with ease and your goals will come rushing towards you.

We can apply this lesson of not fearing failure to numerous other fears––the bottom line is that being fearful stunts our growth. Sure, fear can maybe provide short-term success, such as quickly completing an assignment for your boss because you're intimidated, but it ultimately damages long-term confidence and peace. If you continue to live in fear, you will also live in distrust of yourself, other people, and the world around you. You will continue to be on edge and uncertain about everything. Fear is unstable and not to be trusted.

Do not live small in fear that living large will warrant judgement from others.

Do not worry for the future that is eagerly waiting to hold you in its embrace.

Do not fear the unknown, for that would be never-ending.

Do not fear death, as it is a given that gifts our lives with meaning.

Be fearless, for you have everything and nothing to lose.